2/12 Science Centre, CSI Exhibition & Farewell Dinner

Went to Science Centre with my bro, Sharon, and her bro. We met at Jurong East MRT and walked over. Had lunch at the cafe in science centre cause the Macs was crowded with students on excursions. It was drizzling when we left for home. It started raining heavily after we got home. Went to Oxley in the evening for farewell party cause uncle Ze Han is goin back to HK. I think the party is just an excuse for a family gathering.

End of November

25/11
Went back to NHPS with my Bros today. Benny is getting back his results. Although he did quite well, his results was quite a disappointment for he could have done better.
26/11 & 27/11
spent most time playing FB, practicing piano and tidying book shelf...
29/11
Cleared my shelf a little. Had piano lesson in the evening.
30/11
Went to the library with my bros in the morning. Lunched at IMM before heading home. played FB games before I showered and got ready for prom. I find the planning and all quite a screw up. Although it is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity, I definitely found it boring to a certain extent. I left early cause my parents have to work the next day and I can't expect them stay up late just to wait for me...

RED CAMP

22/11
First day of Red Camp. Left early so that I can estimate the time it takes to get to NP. Had fun and got to know more about some of the courses offered. Went home early cause I've got piano lesson in the evening.
23/11
Left home earlier than my mum and dad today. Was there quite early. Got to know more about some of the courses from the schools we did not go to on the first day. Learnt mass dance after Dinner break. I met my pri sch tuition friend during the lunch break. We chat for quite a while. After the program ended, I took a bus home. Got to know someone from my group. She was asking me for directions to Clementi MRT.
24/11
Today is the last day of Red Camp. Got to know more about some of the CCAs offered and got to experience what the students of the particular CCA does. There was hop night and I sure did came prepared. I made good use of the ear plugs I got from dad. It certainly did protect my ear drums. Although I was still able to hear the loud booming music blast out loud through the speakers, I don't find it very loud. It sound more like listening to my MP3. Anyway, I left early again. This time not because I had no choice it was because I wanted less trouble. If I were to stay till everything ends, I'll be home late and my parents would have to sleep late. Dad came to pick me up before picking Benny up from Theory lesson. Overall, I quite enjoyed the camp. I shall also keep to mind not to attend 2 camps straight for it's very draining. I was tired by the end of the camp activities...

TPRAWKS

18/11
First day of TPRAWKS. woke up early so that I would be there on time. Dad dropped me off at Paya Lebar mrt and I took mrt down to Tampinese and then took a shuttle bus to TP. After registration, I went to settle down with my group. I took out my journal and started to write a little, prefering to stay within my comfort zone for I do not really know my group members that well. I try to participate, but I still observe my surroundings and try not to be over enthusiastic like in school. I wouldn't want the same thing that happen in school to happen here. Thankfully, everyone is quite enthusiastic as well. I guess I'll need a little more time to step out of my comfort zone.
19/11
Today is the second day. My mum dropped me off at Woodlands MRT before going to work. I was early, so I stood at the pickup point reading a book. I was probably more than an hour early. Had dragon boating after lunch and it was really a great experience for me. I enjoyed it for it's my first time. It was 8:30pm by the time I was home and bumped into my dad at the lift lobby. I decided to shower first. It was nearly 9pm when I had my dinner. probably supper time for most people already...
20/11
Today is the 3rd day and also the last day of TPRAWKS. Left home early so that I could be there earlier. I had loads of fun today. I was quite surprised when I got best rawker of my group. I was expecting someone else to get the prize cause there were few other group members who were as enthusiastic. Although I don't quite like english songs or loud musics, I tried to have some fun during JAM & HOP. I received a call before it ended. My parents are gonna pick me up earlier. This somewhat spoil my mood. One of the PLs tried to make me dance with the rest. However, I just have no mood to do so. After I went home, I still had to help my new maid to settle in. Life will be different after today...

End of O Levels

I know that it's been more than a week since my Os ended. You might be wondering why I've not posted anything in the past week. So, the reason is simple. I've been busy. Well, most might wonder what I might be busy with since there's so much time to relax. So this is gonna be a long post as I recap my activities starting from the last day of O levels.

12/11
my parents dropped my in school in the morn so that I can study for my sci paper. then they went overseas the same evening. they were gone by the time I arrived home.
13/11
I did nothing much in the morning. I went for piano lesson in the afternoon and missed bus 173 cause the driver assumed that i wanted to take 106 which was infront. so had to wait for ard 30 minutes for the bus. Hence I was 30 minutes late for my 1st piano lesson after stopping lessons for slightly more than 11 months. went to IMM for dinner after I return home from piano lesson. after that, went to giant to buy vegetables, fruits and eggs...
14/11
went to IMM with my grandparents in the morning cause grandma still have some shopping to do at giant. had some food before heading home. after lunch, I took a bus to clementi to meet pei yu. we walked around and finally settled at KFC for a drink and some snack. we chat and talk about how much things have changed since we left NHPS and since we last met. This seriously allowed me to think and reflect more about life, about how much things have changed. not only have I changed, so have some of my peers from primary school. sadly, some of them are no longer the innocent kid they once were. Some have chaged alot.
15/11

stayed home all day. my aunt came and we ended up playing majong with jia qi after tea break all the way till dinner time.
16/11
watched unstoppable with sharon, siyuan and meiling at kallang leisure park. walked around before heading home after the movies. practiced piano after dinner and went up to watch tv with my grandparents...
17/11
stayed home all day. helped my mum paint the gate and also prepared tuition materials...

Still Innocent?

"Do you think your character will change?" Mei Ling asked me at the end of SSP while we were packing up. I was taken aback by her question and asked her what she meant. "Maybe not since I've not changed much the past few years." I replied.
"Because I saw that you were quite smart just now. I'm afraid that you'll become bad. Smart people usually become bad." She told me. Then she left with Si Yuan to catch the shuttle bus out to the MRT while Huey Ying waited for me to walk out to the parade square to wait for our parents.
That night, I stayed up late thinking about this question. It was a simple yes or no question yet it made me think hard about an answer for I am sure there is no definite right or wrong to my answer. What I think might not happen might happen. Who knows? Who knows what I'll be doing in 10 years time? Who knows what if my friends and I will remain as friends forever just like how clase we are now, laughing, joking, chatting and me trying to be sarcastic.
For now, I'll tell you that I will not change. I guess I will not change and hopefully I do not change much, maybe just change and become a better person. My reason is simple for I am not a person easily influenced. I do not believe what anyone says unless it is reliable, credible, just like a history source. I know clearly I have not changed much over the years though my classmates have for they who used to be someone I know seem like a stranger today. I no longer know what type of person they are. The classmates I know when I first met are so much different. From a young and innocent child, they have succumbed to peer presure, changed their habbits, not being themselves, pretending to be someone they are not just to gain acceptence. To me, I feel that there is no need for these. I just want to be myself and I want people to accept me for who I am and not accept me because I am just like them. It feels pathetic to be like that.
I have grown alot. My thinkings have changed. I'm probably not as childish as before. In the past 4-5 years, I've seen quite a bit of the world. I have probably experienced more than some of my friends have. I am no longer innocent...

Cash Register

It was Saturday night. Just like any other Saturday nights, I was at my maternal grandparents' house. I had gone swimming with my brothers earlier, late afternoon. After which I went to my grandparents' place for dinner like we always did on Saturdays.
Tonight was special for I decided to spend the night at at the cash register with my cousin. It was a great experience serving customers although there were some hiccups.
The first thing that happened was that...
a girl was standing at the cashier, waiting for us to calculate how much she had to pay and there we were, trying to look for a calculator for our mental sums is not as good as it used to be. We were so desperate that I took out my phone to calculate using the calculator in my phone. That was when my grandpa came and calculated it in a short while.
So, lesson learnt? We (I mean my cousin and I) decided we should do this more and that we are revising math for we need to calculate the amount to be paid as well as to calculate how much change is needed. I can claim credit for finding change for I calculated faster than him:)
Second thing that happened...
A guy came and wanted to but cigrattes. He wanted this certain brand of cigrattes-Next light (I think) It was a box of cigratte with green packaging. Having little experience working at the cash register and not knowing much about cigrattes, we looked up at the wide range of cigrattes of that brand with green packaging and did what I think is a stupid thing. One by one, we took the cigratte box from the shelf and asked him(the guy) if that was the brand of cigrattes until...Bingo! I finally found what he wanted. My cousin then recieved the money from him and gave him his change.
Lesson learnt? We concluded that it's not easy to sell cigrattes. You'll have to know the differnt brands and differentiate same brands with same colour packaging...
I think that's all for today=)

Reminiscence

CY: I'm not sure if you still read this blog. However if you do... Do you know what's so unforgettable about 7th July? I'm not sure if you do. If you don't, then it's fine. Today, I'm gonna reply what you wrote in my autograph book 4 yrs ago. 4 yrs seem so long ago, but to me, it seemed as though everything happened yesterday. Did you remeber that you were sad you had to leave NHPS? Did you remember you wrote that I'd have one less person to comfort me without you in class? The truth is, I didn't have one less person to comfort me. You became my best friend. You still comforted me via the emails we sent to one another. I've probably still got them somewhere in my inbox today. And after these 4 long years, I've got more people to comfort me.
Do you recall writing in my book, telling me to control my temper more? I can tell you today that I do not flare up as often as I did in the past. I can tell you that I've learnt to control the fire within me. I've learnt to tolerate certain inconviniences and inconsiderate acts. I've learnt to forgive. However, I'm still trying very hard to forget many of the unhappy incidents that happened after that day.
Today, I once again feel happy. I feel blessed to have great friends in school. Though I do not have many friends (probably a handful), I feel accepted when I'm with them. Sometimes, they cheer me up. They make me forget all my troubles. Sometimes they lend me a listening ear and a shoulder for me to cry when I'm sad. But it feels so different when they comfort me. It feels like something is missing. I guess this is because I still miss you after so many years. but I no longer miss you as badly as I did in the past...

Last Entry of the Month

Today, lessons were not so tedious. Lessons were enjoyable. It's only the third day of term3 and I've finished reading 3 books. Wrote testimonial today. Mr kek edited my draft and I added a little more into my alr lengthy testimonial. Now it's almost 2 pg long :O
Tmr's Chinese O Level Oral! Wish me good luck, guys:)

Bukit Timah 55th Anniversary

It all started yesterday after noon...
昨晚我学了很多。我们下午4：30就吃晚饭了。过后，我们前往咖啡店对面的大操场。我们站在一旁帮忙把一瓶一瓶的水放进礼包。过后，有为先生要我们把一箱箱的礼包般到桌子上，别阻碍交通。节目开始后不久，我们也开始分一些剩下的面包可水。这事听起来好象很容易，看起来也容易做，但做起可是手忙脚乱，一点儿也不好做。有些中国人为了拿免费的面包，你推我挤，面包拿了一个又一个。有的还够贪心的，一个不够，还向你要多几个。当我们说面包分完时，人群就开始散了。当我们又开始分面包时，又来一群人。另我惊讶的是这群人大多是中国人。“他们还真烦！”我心想。

有些事，我见了，都不知该怒，还是该笑。虽然我对中国人没什么偏见，但有些事我还是得说。他们的行为真是要不得。我这句话也不是想一竹竿打全船人，只不过是说某些人罢了。有个老太太到处向分面包的人要面包。拿走了一个又一个面包。我表弟对我说有两个人向他要面包。其中一位想他要了10个，还告诉他是要拿回家吃的。另一个向他要了20个，也说是想带回家吃的。-_-" 有个男子收到礼包后，问我： “怎么没饭吃？我还没吃饭呢！”我听了之后，真的好想骂他。好想对他说：门票只卖2元，怎么可能会有晚饭吃呢？若有的话，那不是亏欠了吗？
有位女士向我要礼包。我对她说：“对不起。我只能按指示，有固本的人才能换取道礼包。过后她又说什么上厕所时，把两个礼包放在厕所，忘了拿。回去时，礼包已不再了。结果因为她一直在哪儿罗嗦，就叫它去“报警”。
晚上，礼包分完后，我们都走了。弟弟和表弟先回家了。等到节目快结束时，我和弟弟帮爸爸引致交通。直到10点多钟才去咖啡店吃宵夜。吃饱后都已经快半夜12点了。
回到家，我换好衣服后就玩电脑。弟弟们和表弟一起看电视节目，直到凌晨1点初才休息。
I think i'll stop here. will be posting soon:)

Ending

More than 2 wks of the June Holiday have passed. Actually, I've got 1 wk left since I need to be back in school nxt wk. Last night, I was chatting with a friend and realised I've actually done more hw than him. However, I shouldn't be proud of myself for doing so little hw. Somehow, I've been waking up laate these days. Instead of waking up at ard 7 or 8, I actually woke up as late as 9 or 10. This means I've wasted a good 2-3 hrs of my time.
I guess I'll just end here. I'd better be doin my hw b4 my hols seriously ends and i've not completed anything...

Wasted

I think I've somewhat wasted the whole of this wk's hol. This week have not been quite productive although I've told myself many times that I shouldn't let my brothers distract me. And everytime I tell myself this, I still got 'attracted' by what they are doing. so there I am, sitting in front of the computer or infront of the TV with them-.-"
Today, my parents took half day leave and we went to SPGG for lunch. After that, we played at the 'arcade' for a while before we went down to the swimming pool for a swim. I swam a total of 6 laps. 2 with my bros. 1 survivour back and 1 free style.
After the swim, we showered and went to suntec PC show. We got a new laptop only after comparing the diff laptops on sale. we got a toshiba laptop. We had ice cream at anderson after that.
I ate little for dinner as I was still full from the ice cream we had earlier.
I think that's all for now. I'm gonna go to my grandpa's hse now...

Goals

Yesterday, I figured out what I've been missing all along. for the past few years. especially after finishing the course at MindChamps. I realised that because of this one small thing, I've not achieved much success the last few years. To some, they might think that I'm already achieving, if you do not take accademic results into count. Take the exchange programme I participated in when I was in Sec2. How many students had the opportunity? Take the internship last year as an example. How many students signed up for it and went for the interview, in hope that they would be choosen. At the end of the day, only very few of the big group of students were choosen. probably 14 out of around 200 students? Wasn't it an extremely great oportunity for me?
My answer to these would be that it depends on how you view it. Of course I've got plenty of opportunities. I was literally jumping at any oportunities that came my way. Although I've got quite a few opportunities to participate in these type of activities, what I lack of are Goals. Not the type where the football is kicked into the goal but life goals! I've not been setting goals and even if I did, it would soon be forgotten.
So, yesterday, I got myself a book and I started listing down my goals. My short term goals, medium term goals and long term goals. At the same time, I looked at what I've wrote then during the EmpowerU programme. My goals. both short term and medium term. I realised that I've not fulfilled some of my goals. I shall not tell you what are my goals at this time. However, I shall tell you when I've completed these goals...

Thoughts...

Well, MYE is over at last, but can't slaken a single bit yet. Having CL O's End of this month. Thinking of it makes me nervous. I'm not so confident about my written Paper 1. Teacher told me yesterday that my chinese is still not up to standard and I'm no where near my target. So what? I mean, is it cos I'm not doin well in tests or compositions? Probably cos my P1 sucks. I feel that my chinese is not impoving. My chinese have never improved a bit this year. It did improve last year, but not a single bit this year. I think I prefer last year's teaching method by mdm tay cos it's fun and makes learning chinese enjoyable instead of sth boring.

Well, back to the point of this post. I post this cos I've been too busy during the MYE period to think of anything except studying. And I've realised lots of things. I've been spending lots of time with my china friends. I realised the reason they do well is not because they are really that smart, but because they are dilligent and have the discipline. However, I probably lack discipline and I'm not as focused as them while studying.

Before evey paper, there would be some time for us to settle down and a few minutes to wait for the paper to start. The reason why I am motivated to study and do well is probably because of the promise. CY, I've promised you, so I shall put in 110% commitment, to do my best. Although I'm not confident in getting good grades this time, but I'm sure I've done better than last year.

I seriously lost thought alr, so i think this post will end here. will post again soon...(I hope)

Start of MYE

Today is the start of MYE. The english paper was reasonably easy (wait... since when was it easy?) Anyway, I'm gonna work doubly hard for this MYE cos IF I get a L1R5 of below 15 points, my mum will reward me with a laptop.
CY: I miss you alot. Two days ago, sth unhappy happened. My classmate was upset because I told him off for using dirty words, so he misplaced my pencil case and water bottles during recess. When I got back to class, I found that my items were missing, so I was extremely upset. Then, I saw my weekly planner in the bin. I was upset and hurled the book on the table. Instead, the book flew past the table, almost hitting one of my classmate. I lifted my bag from the seat and realised that both my seat and my bag were wet. I dumped my bag on the floor, burning with anger. My teacher told me to leave the classroom so that I could cool down and come in when I'm ready for lesson. I stood outside of the classroom, seething with rage. Then, I could not control myself any longer. I wanted to cry, but not in front of my classmate. I ran to the toilet. Yet, I could not escape. I washed my face, I tried to cool my self down, but it was useless. My schoolmates saw me cry. I went back to stand outside class, crying. Few girls from other class tried to console me, but it was of no use. I was not only angry, but upset as well. I felt unlucky, I felt weak, powerless, useless. I felt confused. Suddenly, I missed you alot. I long for the past when I had you to comfort me, to cheer me up, but this won't happen anymore. It felt different when someone else comforted me. One of my 'friend' suggests that I should make a police report cos that's what her parents will do, and that I should humiliate them so that I don't get humiliated, but I make no sense of her words.
Exam have started, so I'll try to leave these matters till after exams...

PFT

Had PFT this wk. tues was 5 item and i did badly for it. my shuttle run, never run fast enough, sit up not fast enough as well. probably have to retake the whole thing, except 2.4 km run. i think i did exceptionally well for the 2.4 cos I was one of the faster ones in class. I finished the run faster than the girls in my class, so I've got no worries about scorring well for the run.

April's Fool

Yesterday was Aprils fool. we 'pranked' mr yee by turning our tables to face the notice board at the back of the class. Mr yee was not as angry as last year when we changed classes to prank him on April Fool. He was quite ok this year and we were allowed to sit in that position with our back facing the whiteboard for the first 2 period of Amath and Emath respectively. Then we had chinese. we wanted to swap class with the HCL students, but decided not to cos no one wanted to see an angry HOD. who knows what will happen?
吴老师 postponed 听写 and said that it's not an April fool joke- which was true.
During timed practice, I received an sms instructing all old comm to stay back for meeting regarding the comm election. (this is not an april fool joke) and ltr, it was decided that we should meet on sunday morning instead. and so, I've got to be in school at 8:30am on a sunday. 1hr earlier than the starting time, for all comm to discuss election stuff before starting practice for the CIP that will take place ltr in the aftnoon. looking forward to Sunday...

Immature

There was IPP and EE yesterday. my classmates did not take it seriously. I guess many ppl dun really take it seriously. If it was a real emergency, I'm sure there'll be a few dead students. My classmate even wanted to go to the toilet instead of returning to class. one of the sec4 class left all their windows open. since sch says 'assume u have the IPP kit alr' so they 'assume all windows are closed'. EE followed after IPP. some ppl took their own sweet time to walk down the stairs to the assembly area. I'm sure that in a real situation, they would become bbq pork at the rate they assemble. If the fire were to spread fast and quick, they would be more than bbq pork. roast pig, maybe. or even sth burnt.
I realised that in the 4 years i've been in Chung Cheng, I've not encountered any need for IPP or EE to be carried out. The only impression of EE i've encountered is during my 6 years in NHPS. there were 2 incident ( including the 'accident') the 1st was when I was in P1. one of the air con box (or whatever it is) of the container classroom burst or exploded then the alarm went off. Another time was in P5 or 6. a junior was goin back to class after music lesson. this kid started to hit the railings, walls etc. as he walk back to class with his classmates. Unfortunately, he hit the fire alarm system outside the toilet. you know? the red one which says break glass or sth like tt to set the alarm going? Anyway, the alarm went off and everyone had EE.
Back to the point... this post is titled immature. but i've not reached tt part yet. now i shall start on it. After EE, we were given the green light to return to class. my classmate actually climbed out of the window to retrive a softball from the roof of the foyer shelter as it was just outside our classroom. in the sense that it was at the area the window is- out of reach usually.
Went for CO Prac aft school taday. the new teacher came ltr during the session. there was lots of fun and laughter. quite late le. i think i'll stop here.....

Thoughts...

Last night, my cousin chat with me on msn. It was just a casual chat, about school, about going to our maternal grandparent's place on saturdays, about accademic, about the stress we start to have and the feeling that 24 hrs a day is not enough. Then, I told her about R&W lesson earlier yesterday, when we went to the lab to do this career guidance. Curious, she asked me what was the results. I told her what I could remember... Broadcast Journalist, Child Care Teacher, Kindergarten Teacher... After which, I asked her what she'd like to study? she told me she remembers what I said. She wants to study child psycology. My target is to study Child psycology and early education. Then, we started to move away from the subject. We started talking about children, about being with kids, how different it is from socialising with people, with grown ups. We started chatting about the innocence of a kid, how we used to be like that. A kid. Carefree, with no worries, in our comfort zones, knowing nothing much about the world, thinking that the world is a kind place. However, as we grow, we start to become polluted. "polluted in the mind" I told her, with us starting to learn sick stuff and dirty words. We are no longer that innocent kid we used to be.
In the middle of the chat, I AFKed to take medicine. Even while taking medicine, my mind was thinking of certain stuff. And out of no where, this thought popped into my mind. As we grow older, the way we take our medication is different as well. I used to swallow bitter chinese medicine with honey in it, to make it taste better. antibiotics are poured into this small little spoon or filled in a stringe. chinese medicine is taken using a table spoon. now, I just drink the 'syrup' from the bottle, estimating the amount I drink. I don't melt the tablets or empty the powder from the capsules into warm water or 'syrup' respectively. I just swallow it with the help of water.
It's amazing how much I can think of in a night, how much thoughts run through my mind. Even while I'm typing now, listening to the radio, millions of questions and thoughts run through my mind. I'm thinking of other things as well.
I can just go on typing till past midnight, till the moon sets and the sun rises. However, I'll need to stop here now before I bore you and make you feel drowsy or fall asleep with this long post. It's almost 11:30 pm. I've got test(s) tmr. I'd btr sleep since I've not fully recovered yet. Therefore, I shall stop... like in a few sentence or words time...
As usual, you can still go tag in my old blog. I'll look out for tags and reply in my next post ( if I remember) and I'll try to post at least one post each month as I'll probably be quite busy...

中正人

Today, our chinese teacher gave out this book before spelling. my classmates started flipping the moment they got hold onto a copy. some made very insulting results. Although those were casual remarks which may seem funny or sound like a joke, but it felt insulting to me. Just like one of the comment jerome made which is to throw away the book. I feel sad not just becuase he feels disgusted of me but because he don't understand the effort put into publishing this book. If not for those people, it wouldn't have been possible for the book to be published. it's just like the way they treat the 直通车magazines. they do not know the amount of effort my aunt, grandaunts and granduncle put in to produce the magazine which they happily chuck into the bin...
On the way home, I thought "What is normal?" when I'm at the bus stop, when I'm in school, I can feel that there's people looking at me. As though I'm special. why can't i just have a normal life?
I just feel damn tired today. I feel lousy also. It's not like I wanted these to happen. It's not like I purposely let them see me in the book...